Manueluv and I are convinced Agent K is Coulson’s father. Hell, MIB is even owned by Marvel.
Welp. Never gonna unsee this.
HEADCANON ACCEPTED SO FAST I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING
Guys - who do you think told Phil all those stories about Cap?
THIS POST IS OVER 2 YEARS OLD AND IT JUST. GOT. BETTER.
Do you expect me to talk?
No, Ms. Bond. I expect you to die!
middle aged white males should strive to be more like mark ruffalo
yassine rahal as james potter
I see a lot of art and fanfic showing AUs of highschool, college, etc. where Bucky is the naughty, sexy bad boy. That’s all awesome, I’m not criticizing, I love those stories too. I’m just…extrapolating, I guess.
I mean, the Winter Soldier IS a bad boy, all emo with the hair and the amnesia and the metal arm. I think we can all agree that he needs a good spanking. (Just me? No?)
But MCU Bucky Barnes? At least from what we see in the movies, he’s a stand up guy. He enlisted and didn’t get kicked out; he served honorably up until his “death”; he may have been a scoundrel with the ladies but that’s barely suggested, I mean, double dating would not be considered risque for two guys in their early 20s in 1942. His idea of a good time is not a dive bar but a family-friendly technology fair.
Steve on the other hand, he’s going around with a chip on his shoulder, starting fights he can’t finish, and trying to defraud the military by lying about his identity MORE THAN ONCE in an effort to enlist. His first military engagement happened because he directly disobeyed orders and went AWOL, two court-martial offenses.
No, it’s not Bucky Barnes, punk. It’s Bucky Barnes, letter man and quarterback with a great attendance record and glowing report cards and is head of the Science Club. But he keeps getting hassled because he’s hanging around with that disreputable Rogers kid who is probably queer and thinks he’s an “artist” and has weird piercings and was last seen ditching class in order stand guard outside of a Planned Parenthood clinic or getting into a fight with the police at an Occupy Movement rally.
"Seriously, Barnes, you could do better." — every adult within five miles of Bucky Barnes and Steve Rogers.
full body blusher steve rogers THIS IS SO SELF-INDULGENT
treat yourself like steve rogers would treat you
my favorite bucky is unnecessarily stubborn bucky who never asks for help ever, even with the littlest stupid things like:
he’s not really sure what the washing machine downstairs does, or how to use it, even when steve showed him that one time, so he washes all his clothes in the kitchen sink with powdered starch and when sam questions why bucky snarls, it’s fragile fabric okay, and sam’s like, um that’s a denim jacket from the salvation army
(every thursday steve finds a bunch of wet clothing hanging out of his apartment window and he sighs and gathers them all and throws them in the dryer before the birds poop on them)
as a joke, clint changes the background of bucky’s phone to the cover of captain america: the porn parody, where the captain america actor is wearing this spangly thong and bucky’s character was changed to a female pin-up girl soldier licking a sniper rifle. it’s literally the worst thing ever, and bucky loathes it but he doesn’t know how to change the background so he just hurls the phone out of the window instead
(steve gets bucky a new phone and sets the background to a corgi wearing a captain america costume. bucky keeps that one for months and months till clint gets a hold of it again)
nat’s curled up in couch moaning softly in pain and at first bucky thinks she got shot in the stomach!! where are you bleeding?? he asks, rushing over and she glares at him, from my vagina. then she shoves a $20 bill at him and tells him to go buy her some pads. bucky jogs to the nearest pharmacy, but from then he’s stumped, because he doesn’t think she means note pads, she means something for her monthlies, so he just wanders the aisles till he gets to the one where all the packages have flowers on them. he closes his eyes and picks one.
(unfortunately it is a box of vaginal douches. natasha almost shoots bucky’s head off before steve comes home in time to intervene, and even then the only reason he manages to save bucky is because he brought back mint chocolate chip ice cream)
Marvel genderswap ▶ Gina Torres as Nicole Fury
“I recognise the council has made a decision, but given that it’s a stupid-ass decision, I’ve elected to ignore it.”
all the best heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary
- Idris Elba as James Bond
- Richard Ayoade as Q
This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
IM CRYING I WANT THIS SO BAD